Do you often hear people claim they have “another side” meaning they are not their true self all the time? For instance, there are situations where I alternate my way of thinking and the way I speak depending on the people I am surrounded by. In other words, the way I am at home is vastly different than when I am at a party or at a local store. I honestly believe it is the result of the experiences I had from my childhood, the groups of people I socialized with in my twenty’s, and basically conversing with parents who are older than myself. To begin with, I will elucidate further the reason of my past experiences from my childhood.
From my childhood, there were occasions where I wanted to express ideas in a way I felt comfortable and assumed were in a normal manner. Unfortunately, the reactions I received were not what I expected. For example, when I was a child, I would speak to classmates and attempt to become their friend, but for reasons I cannot explain, it would not result in that manner. As it turned out, I needed to behave and think a certain way to be considered a friend. Moreover, I could not discuss several ideas and I would be interested in various incompatible activities. Eventually, I developed this “other me” to please other children to become friends. It was a bit challenging at first, but soon after it was effortless and a bit amusing. Although this occurred throughout my childhood, it also appears to transpire in adulthood as well.
During my twenty’s, I began to socialize frequently and went to gatherings where I met plenty of people with different views and opinions. Meeting others with distinctive ideas was enthralling since I assumed I could connect with people and be myself around them. While they would discuss their ideas, I was open-minded and respected their differences, but when I would respond to the contrary, they would convince to agree with their opinions and caused me to feel guilty of mentioning it in the first place. There was no understanding of the argument and it became useless to continue to discuss on the matter so I would become the “other me” to avoid confrontation and move toward to a similar topic we would be interested in. With this intention, I sensed it was reasonable to become my other self to be compassionate rather than being indifferent. From time to time, resembling situations would persist to take place in numerous gatherings throughout my twenty’s and in the same way with older parents in my hometown.
Becoming a parent at a young age can cause awkward situations with parents who had children at an older age. Obviously, the way we raise our children is incomparable and ultimately what I figured out is the manner we behave is dissimilar too. In one instance, I know a mother who is ten years older than me with children younger than my children. We would discuss about our children’s behavior and how we dealt with it, so in this case she would mention her disciplinary efforts and I would mention my version of discipline. After hearing my form of punishment, she would presume it was not sufficient and encouraged me to be stricter. Furthermore, she mentioned since I was younger, I should be aware of the consequences if I did not follow her advice. Once again, to avoid another dispute which would lead to absolutely nowhere, the “other me” stepped in and nodded in agreement.
All things considered, the “other me” is an outlet I created from my experiences in my childhood to connect with others and develop friendships, to avert arguments with various people in my twenty’s which had no intention to comprehend, and lastly prevented misunderstandings with other parents by where I live. In a way, the “other me” is a version of myself combined with alternative perceptions customized for unique circumstances. Whether to concur with another person or be intrigued in discussions, it all depends on the situation. This is for certain, there is another side of yourself and depending where and who you are with, the “other you” reveals itself.
ContrerasElisa1101 